Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Positive, positive, positive

Ok, so the other day I was talking to a friend, telling her that I had been reading and reading and reading her blog and that it was fun and interesting to read. I really enjoyed reading her blog (I had never read it before). I spent 2 evenings, going thru as many of her posts as I could. I felt like a blog stalker LOL.

After reading hers, I went to another blog of someone in my ward and read ALL of their posts and to me, it seemed both the husband and the wife were posting but you could never tell who it was on some of them. The husband blogs so beautifully sweet especially his post about their Anniversary. awe!

Anyway...back to why I started this post.. I was telling my friend that I HATE blogging lately, because somehow I get depressed when I blog. Who wants to invite depression, not me! Her suggestion was to start blogging about the positive things and not the negative. I kind of rejected her suggestion at first saying to myself "yeah right, I'm just a negative person and not a lot of positives going on in my life so what positive things could I write about?" Plus, I'm horrible at properly writing stuff so please, forgive me, as I thought school was for socializing, not learning.. boy am I paying for it now. So if I just nod at what you say, now you'll know that its because I clearly have no clue what you just said, LOL

So this is me now, accepting her challenge, hoping that I will stop with the negative feelings and start with the positive. Positive is good. After writing this sentence, a light bulb went off in my head... I do not like to be around negative people although I will still be your friend but I may or may not start to distance myself from said negative friends. Hey, maybe this is why I have lost soo many friends in life, maybe because I don't think I am negative..but maybe they feel I am. I do complain, who doesn't? I've always thought that I was a 100% loyal friend who would most likely go to the ends of the earth for them (the word friend also includes family).

So, here is some positive. I have a husband who works full time, outside of the home, teaching 30+ 5th graders, plus announcing Basketball, Wrestling and Football and Coaches Softball at Timpanogos High School, so that he can provide for us and has made it so that I could quit my job of almost 8 years. I have now been a SAHM for 1 yr and almost 1 mo. We have a love/hate relationship, lol. Love it cause I don't have to report to anyone, I can go anywhere on any given day without having to find someone to cover my shift or what not. I hate it because I am a HUGE people person and I miss the daily interaction I had with people, co-workers and friends that I knew for those 8 yrs and because someone like to joke with me that I don't make the $$ now.. my rebuttal is that I get paid, it just can't find its way to the bank because it comes in the form of Hugs and Kisses :D.  I have 3 handsome fun and energetic boys ranging in age from 5 (pretty much 6) - age 9. An Angel Baby named Caden who we think of and miss often, he is not forgotten!! And a fun, energetic and super pretty 19 mo old girl. She keeps me on my toes! She along with her brothers are like the sole mess makers in our house he, he. Oh whoops.. that was a negative, but it is true!

Hope you enjoyed my more positive post. Thanks for reading (if anyone even reads) ha ha

Friday, February 17, 2012

What I'm dealing with. Why I'm not the fun old me anymore...


I am only posting this information, so that those of you that read this will know what's going on with me, I do not want/need charity from it. I just simply want you to know, so that maybe you'll have a better understanding and MAYBE you wont poke me in my "tender points"

I have 31 of these symptoms:

SYMPTOMS OF POST TUBAL LIGATION SYNDROME 
Source- http://tubal.org/symptoms_of_pts.htm
1. Eptopic pregnancy or pregnancy (well known risk of tubals)
***2. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes,
    clammy feeling, chills
*3. Bouts of rapid heart beat
***4. Irritability
***5. Mood swings, sudden tears
*****6. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
***7. Irregular; shorter, lighter; heavier, flooding, phantom, shorter, longer
***8. Loss of libido (see note)
9  
10 These 3 deal with the lower area none of which I have issues with but felt it didn't need to be posted here.
11
****12. Crashing fatigue - Chronic Fatigue
*15. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
*16. Disturbing memory lapses
*17. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
      (see note)
18. Prolapse of uterus do to rapid decrease in estrogen levels.
19. Itchy, crawly skin (see note)
*20. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons (see note)
*21. Increased tension in muscles
*22. Breast tenderness
*23. Decrease in breast mass
*24. Headache change: increase or decrease
*25. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
      Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
*26. Sudden bouts of bloat
******27. Depression (see note)
*28. Exacerbation of existing conditions
*29. Allergies developing or increasing - (Chronic sinusitis).
30  Nasal infections-necessitating antibiotics
******31. Weight gain (see note)
32. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
*33. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
*34. Changes in body odor
*35. Electric shock or stabbing sensation under the skin. (see note)
*36. Tingling in the extremities, (see note)
*37. Gum problems, increased bleeding
*38. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in
     breath odor  (see notes)
39. Osteoporosis (after several years )
40. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
*41. Stabbing pains in pelvic area at time of ovulation
42. Pelvic Pain
43. Development of Adenomyosis
44. Development of Ovarian/Tubal Cysts

NOTES:
Symptom 2 - (flashes) Hot flashes are due to the hypothalamic response to declining ovarian estrogen production. The declining estrogen state induces hypophysiotropic neurons in the arcuate nucleas of the hypothalamus to release gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) in a pulsatile fashion, which in turn stimulates release of luteinizing hormone (LH). Extremely high pulses of LH occur during the period of declining estrogen production. The LH has vasodilatory effects, which leads to flushing.
Symptom 8 - (loss of libido) For some women the loss is so great that they actually find sex repulsive, in much the same way as they felt before puberty. What hormones give, loss of hormones can take away.
Symptom 14 - (doom thoughts) includes thoughts of death, picturing one's own death. Feelings of complete despair. - No, I am not suicidal. My mind wanders to thoughts of when/how others will die.. I worry about who will notify me if so and so passes. I worry when the phone rings esp. when it is someone that doesn't usually call me.
Symptom 17 -  (incontinence) reflects a general loss of smooth muscle tone.
Symptom 20 - (aching sore joints) may include such problems as carpal tunnel syndrome.
Symptom 27 - (depression) different from other depression, the inability to cope is overwhelming. There is a feeling of loss of self. Hormone therapy ameliorates the depression dramatically.
Symptom 31 - (weight gain) often around the waist and thighs, resulting in 'the disappearing waistline'
Symptom 35 - (shock sensation) This is often discribed as the feeling of a rubber band snapping in the layer of tissue between skin and muscle. It may be a precursor to a hot flash.
Symptom 36 - (tingling in extremities) can also be a symptom of B-12 deficiency, diabetes, alterations in the flexibility of blood vessels, or a depletion of potassium or calcium.
Symptom 38 - (Burning mouth syndrome)

 AND These symptoms stemming from: 
 
Source -
http://fmaware.org/site/PageServerb3b4.html?pagename=fibromyalgia_symptoms

Fibromyalgia is characterized by additional pain when firm pressure is applied to specific areas of your body, called tender points. Tender point locations include:
  • Back of the head
  • Between shoulder blades
  • Top of shoulders
  • Front sides of neck
  • Upper chest
  • Outer elbows
  • Upper hips
  • Sides of hips
  • Inner knees
Fatigue and sleep disturbances
People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is frequently disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea, that further worsen symptoms.

Coexisting conditions
Many people who have fibromyalgia also may have:
  • Fatigue
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Endometriosis
  • Headaches
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
So much to deal with. 

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